Thought my first real post from Shanghai about food would be about a delicious food tour or handmade dumplings, but not so fast. I have to share these laughable translations (courtesy of auto-translate on my mobile phone browser).

Let me set the stage…

We have almost always had Pizza Friday at our house. Sometimes we make it from “scratch” (using pre-made dough) or we go out (fave spot is Pizzeria sul Lago in Lake Oswego) or get it delivered. We’ve tried a ton of delivery joints and lately Dominos started to win out with a decent thin crust and pepperoni that wasn’t too spicy for the boys.

And if it ain’t broke don’t fix it – especially when moving across the ocean to Shanghai. So, I gambled and ordered up some Dominos pizza the other night along with some of their “garlic bread”… Pizza was fine – almost a like for like compared to thin crust back in the States, but that garlic bread was straight garbage.

So this Friday it was time to try it out again for pizza and movie night. And no more garbage bread – which leads me to the beginning of our story…

To avoid getting a side of garbage bread I went down the rabbit hole of side dishes and in to the depths of auto-translate hilarity. And here are some of the gems.

Of course I want some SUNSHINE with my salad! That’ll get my meal started off right. In fact, why can’t I get this for breakfast.

But then I’d be sadly disappointed to follow up my sunshine salad with this weak personal enjoyment package when all I really wanted is pizza (even more so than wanting my two front teeth at Christmas).

But maybe I can fix my personal enjoyment package with this overflow package that will burst between my lips and teeth.

I mean how can you go wrong with a sunshine salad, a personal enjoyment package and some bursting ham and cheese on a Friday night. No wait…

It’ll all go horribly wrong both at dinner and afterwards when curled up in disappointment that all of this woefully let you down.

Just order the pizza and enjoy it (or get the salad too because the sesame kewpie dressing is delicious!).